11 Pet Peeves about Male Characters

In case you were wondering there for a second, that I only had to complain about the women, let me put your minds at ease.

No.

I have so many things I can complain about.

So here are:

“11 Pet Peeves about Male Characters”,

or “I’m here to complain about MORE things”.

1. The Sexy Asshole ~
Now, don’t get me wrong, everyone likes confidence. But, when that confidence turns to arrogance and general asshatery, nobody likes it. Especially when it comes from the protagonist/love interest. Most wouldn’t even date this guy, but here is his co-protagonist, falling madly in love with him. Now, I’m not against some sass in my protagonist. But it’s sass. Not ass.

2. The Love-at-First-Sight Guy ~
He doesn’t know her name, he doesn’t even know her astrological sign, and yet, he is in love. He has seen something​ in her eyes, in her aloof loneliness, that he has never seen anywhere else. This is the one for him. Why bother with pesky things like “personalities”, and “opinions”? Why get to know her? He has learned all he needs to know from her silence. From a distance.

3. The Tantrum guy ~
He is a man. Not only is he a man, but he’s a manly man. How do we know this? Because every room he is in is a western saloon. A fight is always about to happen, disaster is just around the corner, and for what? His drink had an ice cube too many. He can only show he’s manly by punching things and killing things. He has no other characteristics than a flaring temper and his manly manliness.

4. The Spoiled Brat ~
He has had a tough life, everything is just so difficult for him, so very tough. Nothing goes his way.
Or does it?
This guy has everything. Does he need to complain about the minor setbacks in his life? No. But he does anyway. He’s not an underdog. He’s just a bitch. He complains about the smallest of things that don’t even matter.
He’s being whiny. And annoying.

5. The Perfect Guy ~
He’s the most beautiful guy around, he’s the tallest man. You can hear angels sing whenever he walks in a room, and the clouds part to rain sunshine on him.
He’s the perfect guy. Charming, romantic, smart.
Maybe he’s a little too perfect. Unrealistically so. There is no other guy like him in the whole book and the reader is constantly reminded of his perfection.

6. The Womaniser ~
This guy has slept with everything that he can sleep with. Everyone is a potential lover. Until he meets the one. The one who will tie him down and show him a different life. She’s unlike any other girl he’s ever met, and he wants to settle down with and forget his promiscuous ways. Because that’s how people work, that’s how people change. Overnight. Just cause.

7. The Statue ~
This is another example of the manly man, but instead of being angry and punching things, the statue feels nothing. He’s just there to be stoic, understanding, and a pillar of support. Men don’t feel anyway, that is known. Real men don’t bother themselves with feelings, or tears.
Without feelings though, there is no character growth, no conflict, no fun. If he’s not gonna feel anything, what’s the point of hurting him? I mean writing him.
Damn autocorrect.

8. The Walking Hard-on ~
Unlike the womaniser, this character has no luck with the other sex (or the same sex), and yet, sex is the only thing he can think about, the only topic he’s willing to talk about. We all know men only think of sex as it is, right? It’s not like they have other worries and problems. Just sex. 24/7. Nothing else.

9. The Comic Relief Bestie ~
He’s there to throw jokes at the reader, to ease the tension, but that’s the only thing he’s there for. To crack jokes. He has no life outside being funny, no other purpose in the story, unless he dies half way through. But he can’t even do that, because then all the humour would be gone from the story. Because all of it rests on his shoulders.

10. The Gay Bestie~
Girls can only hang out with guys if they are gay, or else the writer is obligated to make them a love interest. They just gotta. But if the bestie plays for a different team, the female protagonist is safe to swoon over her counterpart.
And usually, these characters aren’t even fleshed out properly. Their single characteristic is that they are gay, and they follow a whole list of stereotypes. Why break the mould? Why make him an actual character?

11. The Friendzoned guy~
This guy somehow fell through the cracks and didn’t become the gay bestie. So now he is a love interest. But not THE love interest. He’s a bitter shell of a man, that’s going to make some questionable decisions and cause problems, just because he’s in love with the female protagonist. He can’t really help it. She’s there, he’s there. He needs a role in the story.
Why not just throw years of friendship out of the window, just because now he’s realised she’s a girl? The story needs conflict, damnit, and a love triangle is the only way to get it!

Fantasy has truth in it.

Fantasy is not easy to write. There are so many things that can go wrong, so few things that can go right.

Fantasy isn’t just epic quests, an adventure to save the world, or kingdoms at war. Fantasy comes alive in the little details that the writer weaves into the story, the fine threads that make up the world and the people.

It’s that kid who goes on a quest because he wants to make something of himself, because he wants to grow and explore the world around him. It’s that mother who lost her children in the war, it’s the burden that weighs down on the hero’s shoulders every time they have to make an important decision.

Because they can save the world, or they can be the reason why it crumbles and burns.

Things are not black and white in fantasy. At least they are not for me. Magic isn’t bad, the same way a gun doesn’t kill people. But the abuse of power, the misuse of a tool, that’s what’s bad. It’s a king that can be good and benevolent to his people, or turn into a tyrant after the loss of someone he loved. It’s the grief, the pain, but also the joy and happiness that people experience.

Does it matter that they experience those things in a land with dragons and sword-fights? Does it make any real difference if the protagonist is not human, but an elf?

For me, fantasy gets to explore every day things like friendships, discrimination, racism, but in a bigger, larger, and more magical environment. It gets to present things that people don’t usually want to talk about, things they want to hide away, because people expect things in a fantasy story to go crazy.

But it’s not going crazy.

It’s being honest.

12 Pet Peeves about Female Characters.

In the world of stories and books, not all characters are created equal. Some are awesome and leave marks in the reader’s mind, soul, and existence.
Others just annoy.

So here are:

“12 Pet Peeves about Female Characters”,

or “I’m here to complain about things”.

1. The Damsel in distress ~
Now, don’t get me wrong, not all characters have to slice and dice and save the day. Some get captured and need saving. But if their whole purpose in the story is to wait passively for someone to save them, then no. Just no. Even people with no fighting chance would fight to save their lives.

2. The Questionnaire ~
She is the kind of character, who is there just so the audience can know stuff. She is a constant question mark, always asking about things, even things she should already know. Her only purpose in the story is exposition.

3. The Unique Girl ~
She is nothing you’ve ever seen before. She is unlike anyone else. She is not like other girls for sure. In a planet with billions of people, she is a special lil snowflake of uniqueness, and no one can measure about to her individuality.
And how did she come to be like this? By being like all other girls.

4. The Pedestal Girl ~
She is amazing, she has value, she is someone you’d aspire to be. Now, I know she sounds a lot like the girl before, but at least the Unique Girl does something with her life.
The Pedestal Girl is just there to be valuable just because she has female bits. She does nothing to prove her value, her worth, or even her usefulness to the story. She just is. And she is amazing for it.

5. The Flawless Klutz ~
She is beauty, she is grace, she trips on air.
She is the girl who is so clumsy for no apparent reason. She just is. She can’t hold a stack of books without dropping them, she can’t drink anything without spilling it, she can’t walk without falling flat on her face in front of her crush.
Maybe she should just leave saving the world to someone else and go see her doctor.

6. The Fixer ~
She’s met the love of her life. He’s hot, handsome, and with enough psychological baggage to have a sane person running for the hills.
Alas, no. She’ll stick by him. She’s there to fix him, to save him.
But mostly, she’s there for all the abuse she’s going to endure. Because she’s there for the single purpose of rehabilitating this barbarian to a decent human being.

7. The Ugly Beauty ~
Epic poems are written every day about her beauty. Songs are sang about her grace and her elegance. How this goddess is allowed to live among the mortals is unknown.
Somehow, she appeals to all. Men, women, all the genders in between. Nobody has unique tastes. They all just love her.
And yet, she believes she’s ugly. She’s a hideous abomination, a freak of nature. She’s not humble, she’s whinny and right on the verge of stupid.

8. The Hottie ~
She’s overflowing with sexuality. Everything she does is sexy. It doesn’t matter what it is, she’ll do it in the sexiest way possible. Whether that’s attending a fancy party, or disembowelling a corpse. The results are one and the same. She’s oozing with sex-appeal 24/7.

9. The Badass ~
She knows the art of the sword, she can take down a whole army by herself, she can do backflips while drinking her morning coffee without spilling a drop.
But the reader will see none of that. The reader is told of her badassery, but sees none of it. She’s badass in name only, and does little to justify it. Not all characters have to go around murdering people, nor do they all need to be badass in the same way. But if you are writing a badass assassin/spy/murderer/whatever, you better commit to it and keep her in character.

10. The Old Woman ~
If you are not young, if you are a bit old in years, there are only two ways to go. The adorable grandma, or the jealous, vindictive bitch.
No way for an older female character to be content and happy with her life, to be independent, to have goals and aspirations, to not be jealous of her daughter’s youth and beauty, or to not be there just to appear cute and the answer a very important question: What are these kids going to eat while saving the world?

11. The Virgin ~
She’s not only a virgin, but she’s also pure. She knows nothing of naughty stuff, nothing of sex. Not even her humour is dirty, and she is always so shocked when people make improper comments.
She’s a pure, white snowflake, there to remind us every single step of the way of her purity, of her virginity.
There to be a Damsel in Distress 99,9% of the time.

12. The Doormat ~
She has a non-existent personality. She’s there to be pulled left and right by the choices of the antagonist and the other characters. She has no original thought in her head, no motivation or initiative.
She’s just there to serve purposes and close gaps. And even though there might be people like her in real life, we require our protagonists and our characters to have a little more drive. Or at least, to have some character growth.
If they start as a doormat, they shouldn’t stay a doormat by the end of the story.